Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

How can we understand the mind of a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why are white men so obsessed with Asian women? I'm friends with people from all different backgrounds but I never see my other non-white male friends obsess over or talk about Asian women like I've seen the white ones do.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I actually pay taxes

I can read

Slash your stress by 65% — and in just 8 minutes — with this dreamy fix to ‘calm your brain,’ neurologist says - New York Post

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Court documents reveal OpenAI is coming for your iPhone - 9to5Mac

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Does the interpretation of the Book of בראשית create in all generations the Chosen Cohen People יש מאין?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for traitorism

When did you realize that your childhood was not normal?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

HBO’s ‘Harry Potter’ Casts 9 More Roles, Including Draco Malfoy - The Hollywood Reporter

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Massive iron reserve worth trillions discovered could reshape the global economy - Glass Almanac

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Are judges being lenient on hard criminals?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Has anyone liked being made a cocksucker?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Is there a reason why many men give up on dating and relationships? Is the dating scene difficult for them?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can count

Why am I always so tired and I don't eat enough?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

How do people move on so quickly? I’m still sprung over someone I was dating and he found someone else so fast. I feel hurt because I’m still head over heels over him while he’s out enjoying his life with someone new

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I see through liars

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Tim McGraw's daughter Gracie McGraw comes out as queer: 'Happy freaking Pride' - USA Today

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet